The Snowman

A gruesome murderer is on the loose in Norway, leaving only a snowman as a calling card. There’s only one man out there who can catch him - Detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender). However, he’s a loner drunk and has to fight his own demons before he can fight crime. Hang on though, he’s been given a perky new sidekick who might just inspire him (Rebecca Ferguson) and oh god this is every cheap crime novel ever made isn’t it?

The Snowman is perhaps the most unintentionally funny film since The Book of Henry in spite of the grotesque violence on show.

• The lead is called Harry Hole
• The death threat notes start with MISTER POLICE
• Harry Hole at one point has to check what a snowman is
• They spend ages banging on about a police data recording machine which doesn’t matter at all
• The machine is the size of a computer yet gets used as a spy camera
• There is a human trafficking sub plot which also goes nowhere
• JK Simmons does an English accent

You can get away with cliched and predictable but this is bordering on bizarre. Tomas Alfredson claims they never finished filming and there are chunks of the story missing. This explains a lot but not everything.

How this was directed by the same person who made Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is beyond me. A great director and a great cast in a Scandi-noir crime thriller could have been a real winner, but it’s just a load of slush.