Career Opportunities

A deadbeat boy (Frank Whaley) gets stuck in a large store overnight with a beautiful rich girl (Jennifer Connelly).

Although written by John Hughes, it’s an almighty mess of a film without enough material to last even 80 minutes. Things go from slapstick comedy to romance to crime caper so quickly it’s hard to follow what’s going on but it’s all a cheap trick to blind you from the fact that, actually, nothing is going on.

The two leads lack much in terms of chemistry, probably because Connelly steals the film with looks alone. It’s hard to remember anything once you’ve seen her on a gyrating horse in a tank top…

There’s little else to mention in Career Opportunities, unfortunately. I suppose it’s interesting that they come from different backgrounds but are both at a dead end in life.

The film could have worked if they dropped the wacky burglars and instead actually hit the road together in the last half-hour (they do hatch a plan to do this in the film, but we see 20 seconds of it). The store could have been a metaphor for their lives, but they manage to escape and go where the wind takes them. Who knows what they’ll find along the way? Maybe they’ll find themselves!

Somebody get me Jennifer Connelly’s number we’re gonna make a sequel!